Betrayal?

Those of you in the UK may or may not be aware that a couple of weeks ago WeightWatchers launched a completely new plan. This isn’t one of the two-yearly revamps, which generally gave you the same system with a different name; it’s a total shake-up. Points are now calculated in a different way, using protein, carbohydrate, fat and fibre content. You get 29 of these new ‘ProPoints’ per day, plus 49 weekly points which you can use or not as you like. There’s been a lot of stories in the crappier sections of the British press about ‘the diet which lets you have wine and chocolate!’ (Because of course, that’s all women are interested in, isn’t it?)


In two weeks on the new plan (following it closely) I’ve gained 2.5 pounds.

Hmm.

I’m understandably not pleased with this.

While I’m all for updating the plan to match modern scientific thinking, I think it’s in need of serious refinement. When I started it I weighed ten stone and half a pound. I’m on 29 points a day. If I weighed fourteen stone (14 stone 2 (or 198lb) was my starting weight in 2002), I’d be on… 30 points a day.

You see the problem? A point is roughly 40 calories. There is no way that the food intake which allowed the 14-stone me to lose 2lb a week (the maximum that WW recommended) is going to let then 10-stone me lose weight. It’s not just me, either – while I’ve seen some good losses (3, 4, 5, even 6lb) reported in the first week of the plan, they’re coming from larger members. The WW message boards show a disturbing number of small, relatively light women for whom the new system really isn’t working.
This would be almost excusable if the plan were brand new – but it’s not. It’s been operating in Europe for some time now.

I suspect that pretty soon – after Christmas, to coincide with the public launch? – we’ll see the ProPoints allowances changed so that nine-stone members and 14-stone members aren’t eating the same amount. But meanwhile, I feel rather betrayed.

I know there’s a plan revamp coming in the US this week. If it’s ProPoints – and why wouldn’t it be – my advice to members, particularly those under 150lb, is be very, very careful, and don’t assume it’ll work.

Meanwhile I’m giving the plan one more week to come up with the goods. And then? I really don’t know…

Actual shrinkage!

I bought a wedding dress at the weekend.

Now, it’s not my intention to turn this into a wedding planning blog. Wedding planning is to my mind only ever interesting if you are a) connected to the wedding in question or b) planning a wedding yourself. If you fall into category B I can recommend any number of excellent sites dedicated to the topic (and some which will make your eyes pop out in horror/bemusement), and I don’t think many people in category A are reading this. There is a weight-loss angle on my purchase, honest.

You see, I bought a dress that fits me now. Not a dress that will fit me in half a stone or a stone’s time. The traditional model of dress shopping is that you try on a sample, which may or may not fit you (I’ve been lucky – only one has been too small and most have fitted well). If that’s the dress for you, you then order one to be made, which takes a preposterously long time. Because made-to-order is not the same as made-to-measure, you order a standard size which is then altered to fit you.


(The whole wedding dress industry is also revoltingly sizeist and judgmental, but that’s a whole other post (which I will probably write this week while it’s on my mind).)


Until Saturday I thought that was the route I was going to take, and was already agonising about whether to order the size that fits me now or the next size down.

However, there is also the sample sale route. At the end of a season, or when a dress is withdrawn by the manufacturer, shops are left with their samples, which they had to buy from the manufacturer. They then sell these to recoup some of that cost. However, because they have been hanging around in the shop being tried on, and may be last season’s design, they are usually sold at a hefty discount. The dress I bought on Saturday was one such sample. It was there, it was preposterously reduced, it was beautiful, and I had to buy it there and then if I wanted it. So I did.


I was worried that buying a dress in my current size would an admission of defeat. I didn’t want to allow the possibility of not getting to my goal weight before the wedding. But having actually done, I find I’m able to consider the issue in a slightly saner way, and have come to three conclusions:

• Most of my excess weight is now on my hips and thighs. While I don’t want to say too much in case the Boy is reading, I don’t think it would be a surprise to him that I haven’t chosen something that is fitted in those areas, so shrinkage there won’t affect the fit.
• If I do lose weight in such a way that the dress doesn’t fit, well, I’ll get it altered! Because it was one of a kind I won’t then think “Dammit, why didn’t I order the next size down?”
•  If I don’t lose a single pound between now and my wedding day, I know I’ll still look fabulous. (Honeymoon beaches are a different issue, but never mind…)

This feels like a bit of a breakthrough. The other breakthrough is that yesterday I finally lost weight again – a pound off to bring me to 10 stone 4lb. I am extremely relieved as the plateau was doing Bad Things to my mental state. One more pound will get me to 10% of my bodyweight lost, and I really want that crappy keyring!

October goal update: my ‘exercise every day’ goal fell victim to a cold last week – I decided that if I was ill enough not to go to work I was ill enough not to Shred… I’m still trying to get every other day this month, though. I managed to track every day this week. I failed rather on the ‘not going nuts’ front – Saturday’s dinner was a bit excessive – and on the drinking 2l of water every day. I’ll try again this week.


Culinary highlight of the week: a tie between the garlic, cheese and caramelised onion pizza bread on Saturday night and the haggis panini I had for lunch on Sunday. NOM.

It might be time for a humiliating climbdown

I’ve been thinking a lot about my diet choices over the last couple of days. Alternate-day fasting has worked for me up to now, but the recent plateauing has forced me to consider what happens when I get to where I want to be, and whether what I’m doing now is preparing me for that.


ADF has certainly taught me one thing: that hunger isn’t disastrous. I know that I can survive on 500 calories for a whole day, even if it isn’t enjoyable. I think that that is a very valuable lesson, because it totally negates the argument of “I have to eat! I’m hungry.” I’ve learned not to use hunger, however intense, as a binge trigger (touch wood).

What ADF hasn’t taught me, however, is moderation. I have been trying to use my calories wisely on both up and down days in order to minimise hunger, but there’s no denying that eating 500 calories is extreme behaviour. There are maintenance techniques for this diet out there but I don’t think it’s sustainable behaviour for me personally in the long-term.

So I started thinking about alternatives.

Atkins, South Beach and their brethren I dismissed out of hand. (Atkins always made me remember a student dinner party where one guest, learning we were doing bolognese, said “Can I just have some minced beef with grated cheese on it?”)

Straightforward calorie counting isn’t really my friend, as discussed before.

I’ve tried Alli already – I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I lied to buy it online as I wasn’t overweight enough at the time, and there might have been something in that because it really didn’t work for me: none of the horrific side effects but no weightloss either.

The GI diet could work, but the lack of structure terrifies me. Maybe something like it but with more accountability and support?

And then I found myself on the WeightWatchers website. And the more I read about their new plan, the more I thought “Hey, maybe I could do that!”

I know, I know. Two days ago I said “Never again!” However, a major impediment has been removed. I didn’t want to go to meetings because I resented the time they’d take up and because they are usually at times that are either too early or clash with workout time. But (and here’s some News-with-a-capital-N) I have a new job which starts in four weeks. A job where I will spend every single day in the same place, not roaming the region like a particularly boring nomad. A job with a lunchtime WeightWatchers meeting just round the corner. So I can go without eating into valuable workout/relationship/plain old me time.

I love it when a plan comes together.

So... I will continue with the ADF (and keep working out) until we go on holiday in just over two weeks.

While on holiday I will eat more or less what I like, while trying not to go nuts and to stay active.

Then when I get back I’ll add a new eating plan to the Brand New Life mix.

Watch this space!

Healthy You Challenge check-in: I gave up drinking for *this*?

Warning: this post contains some bad language and several instances of petulance.


Today did not begin well.


Today began, as usual, with the scales. The scales didn’t tell me anything I wanted to hear. The scales told me that I’ve gained 400g (that’s a pound, for the metrically-challenged amongst you) not just since last week, but since yesterday, bringing my weight back up to 68.2kg.


I should take that shiny “10kg lost” badge down, really.


This has been a shitty week stuck on another plateau, despite my sticking to my programme. Here are the calorie counts (and exercise) for the week:


Tuesday: 1,985 and an hour’s skiing
Wednesday: 598, half an hour on the Treadclimber, 45 minutes of weights/strength
Thursday: 1,786 and a Body Pump class
Friday: 502
Saturday: 1,646
Sunday: 1,018, 40 minutes of weights/strength and 12km on the treadmill for a total of about 900 calories (Yes, 1,000 is not 500, but this is not a one-pound-gain-level fuck-up)
Monday: 1,786

I’m really at a serious loss to figure out how that translates into this:


Tuesday: 67.8
Wednesday: 68.2

Thursday: 68.0
Friday: 68.2
Saturday: 67.9
Sunday: 67.9
Monday: 67.8
Today: 68.2


I do not believe this to be the result of my body going into starvation mode. Anything I’ve ever read about this phenomenon suggests that it won’t kick in till you get below 1,000 kcal a day, and last week I averaged about 1,330. Given that my RMR is only in the region of 1,600 that’s not that low. And the whole point of the alternate-day thing is that your body isn’t supposed to notice that you’re not eating much.


Well, mine certainly hasn’t noticed.


It’s not muscle. The scales measure body composition and that has not changed. I suppose it’s probably water, but really, I am so over this shit. I am so over the stupid crap my body likes to pull where I have to struggle and struggle and suffer to lose one ^&*$”@# pound that I can then put on again by looking at food. I appreciate that I should be focusing on the health benefits of being more active, but to be honest right now they’re not massively in evidence: I don’t really feel any fitter; I still sleep appallingly; my skin’s still crap; I’m still permanently stressed and exhausted (thanks work!) - the weight loss was really the only result I was seeing. So I’m into the weight loss; so I like to see the scale going down: does that make me a bad, an immature, a less complete person? Does it bollocks.


I’m going on holiday in two and a half weeks. I wanted to get to 65kg by then. On the 2nd of January that looked like a sensible goal. Even last week it seemed perfectly achievable. But thanks to this random, apparently groundless regain it’s not going to happen. And that makes me want to kick things, scream and punch the wall. Perhaps that makes me a bad, immature person.

I know I’m supposed to love my body. I know I’m supposed to respect it for what it can do and not beat it up for what it can’t, but there isn’t much it can do. It’s clumsy and malcoordinated. It can’t even run 5K. All it appears to be good at is taking non-existent calories and converting them into all-too-existent fat. Compare that to my mind, and it’s not hard to see why I think of my body as the weak link in this particular chain. I try to treat it well: I give it the right quantity of food and make sure it gets plenty of exercise and enough sleep... and this is how it repays me? I gave up drinking for this?

I don’t really know where to go from here. Giving up obviously isn’t an option. I could try changing to another programme, but nothing else I’ve tried has worked even this well. The idea of going to a WeightWatchers meeting sets my teeth on edge, and I don’t think that doing the programme alone would work any better than plain calorie restriction. The GI diet and similar programmes which rely on your being able to judge satiety also won’t work – I’m perfectly capable of getting fat on low-GI foods because I’m still learning about portion control. I suppose I’ll continue with ADF, because the only alternative I can see is going back to where I was, and that appeals even less. But it does feel as if I’m having to fight very hard just to stay still.


So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.